Have you ever wished you could go back in time and talk to a younger version of yourself? Give yourself advice or comfort yourself from a wiser and stronger point of view? Perhaps you've written your young self a letter, or visualized a conversation. I've done it and it's truly therapeutic. It kind of allows you to see patterns you've developed that may no longer be benefiting you or hindering your progress. That is what today's post is. It's a letter to my 2008 self when I first tried to make nut butter in the food processor.

At the time, the lovely, smart, foodie-type people in my life were always going on about making their own nut butters. "You just put the nuts in the food processor and process until they turn into a butter. No biggy". So I tried. After about two minutes of whirring, my inner voice started to sound anxious. "This isn't going to work", "it's taking too long", It's just a flour, you need to add a liquid". So I added oil, perhaps a splash of vanilla, maybe some maple syrup."It'll be maple almond butter" said the voice. Finally I gave up. I was left with a lumpy, oily, nutty, cold gruel. Right then and there that little voice convinced me that I was never meant to make my own nut butter and I never tried again. Not until about a year ago, when my absolute favourite butter of all time became scarce and expensive in my part of the world - Raw Cashew Butter. Raw cashew butter is heaven. It is gently sweet and mildly nutty, but also rich in flavour and the texture is fantastic. It's perfect in smoothies, popsicles, dressing, cookies, as a veggie or even fruit dip - the list is endless. I often just eat it off the spoon. I have no idea why it's not everyone's favourite.

The day that I decided to try again, eight years later (yes, when I feel failure coming on, I quit. That's been a talk I've had with myself many-a-time) I had to tell that little voice to hush. "Mind your own business!". Nuts don't need any added liquid to become a smooth, spreadable butter. They are absolutely packed with oil. It's just a matter of being patient and the oil will come and make everything perfect.

Here we go. I'm giving it a try. Deep yoga breaths come it handy during moments like these.

OK, the lid is on, we're ready to start. There are about 2 cups of raw cashews in the processor. It really doesn't matter how much you use. I generally fill the bowl about 1/2 way up.

If you've never processed nuts before, now is the time to prepare for the loud. Have your children and pets take cover.

Shown above are the cashews at the 1-2 minute mark. Now my 2008 self was making almond butter, not cashew butter and it seemed to stay at this crumbly/floury stage for a bit longer than the cashews. Cashews are a softer nut and they make for a great first time homemade nut butter option. The nuts will stay at this stage for a few minutes. 2008 Meghann was SO impatient. 

After a few minutes of that crumbly stage, the soon-to-be butter is going to start to ball up.

You can intervene and spread it out if you want to, but you don't have to. It will eventually spread out on its own. I've let it whirr in it's ball for a few mins here. It is NOT ready yet. The texture is gritty and the oils are being shy. They must come out!

Now, my impatient, young self would need this extra photo to keep her relaxed, so here it is. I whirred the butter for about 3 minutes past the ball stage. You can see it is now evenly distributed throughout the bowl and softening up. If you look really close, you can see a bit of shine from the oil starting to release. Not ready yet, Young Meghann. You are not a failure.

This looks promising! Another 3-4 minuets have gone by. It's becoming a bit shiner and much smoother. Still gritty, though. Lets give it another Whir. 

Note: You will notice that your bowl starts steaming up and the butter is actually warm. It's a lot of work to make nut butter, maybe not for for you, but for the processor and the nuts themselves! If your food processor seems hot & tired, it's ok to take a break for a few mins.

I'm going to let it go until it's done. Five more minutes or so. You can see the bowl steaming up and the butter looks very smooth and uniform when blending.

I'm deciding to finish up here. A lot of oil has been released and you can really see the shine. It's very spreadable and and wonderfully smooth.

You don't need to add anything at all to this recipe. Raw Cashews and a little self reassurance are all that's required.

Raw Cashew Butter

• Raw Cashews
• Self reassurance  
• Patience
• Deep breaths

Fill the bowl to your food processor about 1/2 way. More is OK, but don't fill it too high or it can get hard on the motor - depending on the brand, etc of your machine. Blend away with constant reassurance that you are doing a good job. You are finished when it is smooth and very spreadable (ie - it won't break a cracker or rip your bread when being applied).

Enjoy!